choster.tumblr.com

I know I let the littlest things get to me, but

man, I cannot stand squares.

"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen."

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross (via vvolare)

(via shoulditumble)

What I currently need.

I’ll never fully learn.

Okay - Fine.

Eliminating all of this angst for today.

Lately, I feel happy that I have a basis of sanity in my life. I’m thankful for that. I’m certainly not the type to quit my job just because I don’t like it. I personally don’t believe that people should enjoy the luxuries without earning it. I don’t blame the government nor my parents for my unhappiness and faults. I admit to myself — it’s my own individual efforts that lead me in this life.

Here and there, I’ll fuck shit up and do something absolutely ridiculous/stupid. I’ve done a lot of shit before that I shouldn’t have. Nofuckingbody is perfect. I’ll probably fuck shit up more in the future and regret my ass off. But I know one thing for sure.

I’m going to be careful about who I surround myself around.

I just can’t risk that anymore. Ever.

Fuck, I’m becoming prude.

I sincerely love and miss you guys.

Fun Read from WSO

Things you should have done by 21

1. Question Every Authority, Even Your Parents
Parents are people too. And people make lots of mistakes. They don’t always know what’s best for you, and you might realize one day that maybe they never did. I love my parents to death and I think they’re one of the key reasons why I’ve become the person I am today, but some of those reasons are because I went against them and what they tried to tell me ended up being wrong. Question the school system, question the government. Why do these groups of people know better than I do? If you’re always questioning then you’re always thinking for yourself, and sometimes you’ll agree with what the consensus is, but it’s a lot better to arrive at your own conclusions using your own brand of logic. At least then you’ll be confident. Oh and there’s one more institution you should probably question, which is to…

2. Consider at Least 2 Religions
Touchy subject, right? I didn’t say practice, I didn’t say believe, I said consider. This is just another form of thinking for yourself. Maybe you grew up Catholic, why not take up studying Hinduism or Mormonism? There’s tons of other people out there who strongly believe (and quite a few who are willing to die for it) that their faith is the way the world was set up and the way they need to live their lives. Think about how powerful that is - how come we can believe two entirely different things like that so strongly? Is it because someone told us to? [Probably.] Everyone’s conclusions will be different. I know people who have done this and the experience caused them to appreciate their own religion so much more than before. Personally, I did this and concluded that it’s probable that none of us are actually right. But it’s helpful to think through it. Again, force yourself to think about why you are who you are. Once you do that, you’ll probably…

3. Realize that You Aren’t Special
I made the mistake growing up thinking that because I’m me, there’s no way that what happened to this person or that person could ever happen to me. Because I’m me, things will be different than they were for the guy who did the exact same stuff I’m doing and turned out to be a complete failure. Your parents are wrong - you’re just like everyone else. You’re a human being with skin and hair and you walk on two feet and think with a brain. There is nothing magical about you, and you’re not entitled to anything more than anybody else. And don’t expect yourself to be happy all the time while every other animal on the planet can just “be.” If a situation requires you to work your ass off, you damn well better work your ass off. Nobody ever got anywhere complaining about how unfair things were for them, no matter how awful their circumstances were. Accept them and only look at what you can do to get where you want to be, not how you can try and take a shortcut because somehow you think you’re “different.” Once you do that, you’ll eventually succeed, but not before you…

4. Make as Many Mistakes as Possible
I’ve written the book on this one. Whether it’s with girls, in school, at home, or anywhere else, if there’s a f*ck-up to be made, I’ve definitely made it. The big thing to remember here is the only way to make a lot of mistakes is if you first try a lot of things.

Anyone who can make up an excuse for why they haven’t tried something at least once is destined to be a failure.

The more mistakes you make, the more things you know don’t work, and it starts narrowing down how many things could actually be right. Another word for this that some of you might be unfamiliar with is EXPERIENCE. It’s 1000x more important than grades, scores, stats, or who your daddy is. Experience is just the sum of all that you’ve learned from your past mistakes. Oh, and one mistake that was a hell of an experience was when I decided to…

5. Try at Least a Few Different Drugs
I know, I know. He’s really advocating drug use?! No, not really, but I truly believe there are positives to responsibly using the right drugs. You don’t know everything about yourself until you’ve followed your thoughts under the influence. Some people think weed is enough, I never did. Some psychadelics can make you really think outside of your normally filtered conscious mind. Every time I experimented with a new drug, [usually] responsibly, I came away with having learned something new and legitimately useful about myself that helped me see the world a bit clearer. Unfortunately, as some of you know, I’m not the best person to listen to about this because thanks to drugs I once had to…

6. Undergo a Near-Death Experience
I’m not suggesting you stand in front of a train and try to jump out of the way at the last second. But more people than you’d imagine have had this happen to them and I think those people are absolutely invaluable resources for wisdom in regards to how their view of certain things changed. I’ve unfortunately had multiple NDEs, but looking back they help you realize that your life is very easily taken away. Stupid shit like target schools and pitch books stop being even remotely important. Go talk to someone who legitimately had a near-death experience, and just ask them about the things they thought about losing when they almost died. Not to make this longer than it should be but I’ll go into a little detail of my own, and maybe anyone with similar experiences can contradict or confirm. I was never afraid I was going to die, I was just more sad about what I was leaving behind. Dying meant no more sitting in diners with the girl I loved drinking coffee and talking bullshit. Dying meant no more trips to the cottage and seeing my dog run in circles around the house because he’s just so goddamn excited to be there. And dying meant not being able to pay my family and friends back for everything they’d done for me. Now those are the things that are actually important to me. I was never afraid about losing my apartment or my bonus or no more one night stands. Once you know what you truly value, you’ll start to…

7. Understand that Life is Not Meant to Be Serious
There’s really not much to say here. Life continues to go on regardless of what happens around us, and even if the things you decided are most dear to you are gone one day, you’ll find a way to move on. Life is as far removed from serious as one can get. With that attitude you’ll find yourself acting a lot more naturally, and I’d venture to guess that about 95% of the people on this site should probably give this one some solid consideration. If I die tomorrow, screw it, I’m dead. If I get fired tomorrow, screw it, it’s not like I’m dead. Oh wait, even that’s not a big deal in the grand scheme of things is it? Just relax and enjoy yourself, it’s a privilege that we’re here to begin with, it’s all been extra credit since the day you were born. Even getting laid isn’t a serious matter. In fact, when it comes to women…

8. Realize that a Woman [or Man] is Just Another Person Trying to Get By
Some of you guys might have a hard time with this one, seeing as 60% of the posts on this site are about chicks and getting laid and spitting game and all that bullshit. It took me the better part of maybe 20 one-night stands to realize that the game is totally blown out of proportion. Not only did it lose its excitement, I started feeling bad for her, for other guys out there trying to “get some,” and for the entire human race. This chick is just another insecure person just like me doing her best to fit in and not hate herself in the morning. The sad part is she’s doing a miserable job at it. So guys: stop putting it on a pedestal, it’s lame and so are you if you do. Girls: if you haven’t noticed already we’re all pretty messed up and you’re no different. So if gettin’ laid is your thing, go ahead and do it, but don’t beat yourself up about it if you’re not. Nobody’s “doing better” than you because of it, and despite what stigma society tries to attach to it, to me it’s really no different than a high-five. Society does this pretty often, but if you’re smart you’ll…

9. Run from Anything that Everyone Agrees On
Most people are overwhelmingly stupid. They have no clue what they want and no clue how to get it even if they did. There’s a reason it’s called a “herd mentality,” because we’re all about as intellectually independent as a group of water buffalo, and we all saw what a few white dudes with rifles did to them. If everyone thinks the same way, you can almost guarantee that it’s A) irrational B) benefiting a minority of people C) completely inaccurate. Go back and look at all the things we universally agree on without thinking about them. Mr. Carlin provides a pretty good list of blindly accepted herd mentality mantras: All Men are Equal, Justice is Blind, the Press is Free, Your Vote Counts. I think you get the point.

New York, New York

So, I can’t exactly express it, but New York is fucking great. Just being there makes me feel happy inside. It’s crazy how just a change of scenery can make me feel fucking cosmos of new, enlightened moods. Fuck, I would have even been happy just looking out the window all day.

I rarely take photogs because I think they ruin the moment, but I had to take some. Wish my phone wasn’t being a pain in the ass though during the trip (cause then — I would’ve been able to take more).

The view from our room at the Revel. Atlantic City, New Jersey.

The Revel — Atlantic City, New Jersey.


A shot of the boardwalk behind the hotel.

Walking around in New York.

The MET, NYC.

The Egyptian Exhibit at the Met.

More of the Met.

Outside of the Met Museum.

Urban Outfitters :)

Jung Ha at Urban Outfitters

Union Square

Saint Alpe’s (?). Best bubble tea I’ve ever had.

More of walking.

Hudson River

Tap Dancing show at Union Square.

I forgot what this park was called, but it was nice.


Another :)

Happily tipsy at the Revel!


More of the park.

This was the apartment building where I was staying. Designed by the same guy who designed the Walt Disney Hall in DTLA. The view was absolutely stunning. Thanks to awesome people, I had a hella great stay :)

I need to learn how to express myself.

Kind of upset I didn’t drive down to San Juan Cap today with Merlin. Lazy days make me feel amazing momentarily, but today— it definetly didn’t beat seeing Foxy Shazam.

Feels like I’m out of touch with the world lately. I’m semi-paranoid I’ll kick in the old habits again, so I’m trying to be less social. Oh, self-control, where’d you go? It’s always easy and more comforting to blame peer pressure, but it’s really just yourself. Just accept it.