January 2012
10 posts
I've Been...
Watching your world from afar. I’ve been… trying to be where you are.
——-
anyway, starting with work out tomorrow with Hasmik. We’re running up the stairs to the 67th(?) floor, taking an elevator back down, and then going back up. I hope I pull through. I need to get back in shape.
Still Sick,
but Big Bear was worth it.
Just wait.
DONALD GLOVER!
Haha
Horticulture?
One of my aunts decided to start growing these strange plants.
Kinda strange, yet appealing, no?
Anyway, I really want to live in the Bay Area when I retire. Avoiding NY as long as possible for now. I know retirement’s far away, but I keep planning ahead.
Snowboarding at Big Bear Mountain soon, taking a vacation in the months to come; I have some things to look forward to. I think of...
Random Scribbles
Falafels at the farmers mkt on 7th&Figueroa (so damn good).
New business plans, new ways, new strategies.
Being active: marathons, marathons, marathons. Need to train. Need to work out after work.
This is a work in progress, but I’m becoming much more structured than I used to be.
Never thought I’d enjoy watching sports, but hockey games and basketball games at the Staples...
Lost in my Head (?)
Running the LA Marathon in February with a co-worker. I need to train it up, so I don’t collapse every 5 blocks. Maybe I’m pushing it.
I’ve sort of started veering towards other methods to handle my internal stress from work, I guess. On running - rather than dealing with unhealthy substances (like alcohol and cigarettes).
And it’s helping. I feel pumped up and ready to...
Happy New Year
people.
I guess I should do a resolution list, since I haven’t done it in a few years. These days, blogging keeps me sane. Actually, any type of self-evaluation/contemplation keeps me sane these days.
1) Be grateful always (basically - stop bitching about anything). 2) No drinking every week (keeping it to every month, two months) 3) Exercise (seriously, can’t remember the last time...
December 2011
7 posts
I’m tired and jaded. Like that’s new.
we are always running for the thrill of it
Confidence
Last night, I went out to eat with Mesa, had a few beers, etc. And it turned out to be the saddest dinner I’ve eaten with someone. Usually, I can smile it up and say weird shit to make things lively.
But I just couldn’t. I’m just falling apart. I’m not sleeping. All I have is shit piled up for me to get to. Everywhere I go, I feel as if I’m running an errand....
I'd Like to Think
that no one’s as good as me, but that isn’t the truth. I’m just some selfish, egotistical little bitch (trying to make everyones’ lives hard).
This is basically my life these days. I work, get drunk, have a moment of doubt/intoxicated nights, wake up, and go to work. It’s turning into a fucking cycle. I hate it when I’m sober.
Also, fuck all of you who are...
I CAN’T STAND THE COLD.
Also, writing daily into a little journal really helps me keep my sanity.
Life at the office - I’m used to now!
Vacation, Vacation
I’ve been trying to decide where to take a vacation, but it’s so hard. I feel like I really do need a break, and I’ve been researching hella lot. But nothing’s catching my eye. I remember when beaches used to be a luxury. But shit, I see a beach everywhere now. And I never really liked beaches anyway.
NorCal? Vegas? I don’t know. We’ll see.
November 2011
12 posts
Goals
to keep.
1) Try to be as social as possible (despite how busy I am) 2) NO JUNK FOOD. 3) Make no mistakes at work.
Unlike you,
I don’t project my insecurities in other people.
Happy Turkey Day
I was thinking today of how grateful I am.
And then I went to some conservative Thanksgiving Day dinner with a buncha Koreans + family.
And realized: I can’t get along with my people. Fuck, I don’t understand why I can’t vibe. Conservative little bitches piss me off. I can’t believe what I just went through. Just fucking leave me alone.
Also, I hate the whole freaking...
Just super tired and unable to keep up with the world. Also, I’m really not looking forward to next week.
Life is a combination of work, taking care of number one, and play lately. But it’s an unfair combination. I rarely get to play.
I’m glad that I’ve finally met people I can vibe with. Chill people who aren’t conservative and able to deal with the crazy me.
I will not smoke anymore cigarettes. It’s seriously gross when you think about it. I made a promise with the HR Analyst at work to quit. I’m going to run instead. I’m going to run a small marathon. Or do something active. Cause man,...
“As I write these lines, an unknown choreography organizes the firing of millions...”
– Marcelo Gleiser in “Can Our Brains Tell Us What Is Real?“ (via npr)
It’s awkward seeing your boss on the subway.
Also, working with bastards is a really difficult, yet inevitable daily task for me.
Healthy mode: starting tomorrow.
No more cigarettes, junk food at the office, drunk nights, etc. Just sober Kathy. All day everyday.
I hate being sober as of late.
Despite Everything
Maybe I should just let it out of my system.
It’s embarrassing, but I might feel better.
October 2011
13 posts
DooWop.
I hate to vent again on this thing, but recently I’ve lost a bit of my sanity.
I’ll be using my first sick day for work tomorrow. Is it okay if I say I’m super, super emotionally upset to the point that I cannot face anyone? I mean, I do have a cold. But I swear, I need to regain my fucking sanity again and get out of this fucking gray bubble.
I’m just going to lurk...
Desire
I don’t eat, I don’t sleep, I do nothing but think of you, I don’t eat, I don’t sleep, I do nothing but think of you.
You keep me under your spell, You keep me under your spell, You keep me under your spell.
Stereo Hearts
I’m having trouble being social lately. I mean, last night I went to have just a drink with a co-worker but ended up intoxicated. Oh, and I called someone in the HR department (but I’ll handle that later even though I’ve been worried about it literally all day).
Anyway, it hit me - while I was intoxicated - that I prefer a movie or reading a book at home. Don’t get me...
I Practice
my signature way too much at work.
WatchA co-worker of mine sent me this today. I love Ted. I can’t believe I didn’t see this before. Anyway, it’s so true. Damn, I wish I had that charisma.
I drank a few drinks, and I’m a little gone. But I can comprehend everything. I have work tomorrow. Fml.
FALAFELS
are the best.
And it’s almost the weekend. Supah. I’m going to take this fine weekend to DRAW.
Confizzed.
I….
had the most awkward lunch in history today. Meeting friends outside of school is so difficult. Especially because I’m not sure they’ll accept my lifestyle, thoughts, etc.
2 tags
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be...”
– Steve Jobs. May you rest in peace. (via ouractsofkindness)
September 2011
4 posts
7 tags
Littlest Things.
My aunt sends me the best emails. Today has been sucha painful, long day. But checking my email just now made my day a lot better. Here’s a little snippet»
“Always look on the upside! The glass is half full, never half empty. Every adversity has a silver lining if you seek it out.”
I Strive to be Different
from the previous generations.
I don’t care if I’m a woman. I’m going to work, work, work my whole life and actually do something with my life. Being busy has sort of become a daily struggle — so now I’ve adapted to it. It’s strange if I have leisure time. I refuse to ever cook, clean, or (as my uncle says) “follow the leader.” What leader? I can...
Just Trying to Keep it in Line
Lately, I’ve been trying my best to keep myself from exploding out of frustration, fatigue, etc.
Okay – fine. I’m one of the lucky ones out there in comparison to the rest of society right now. But from an individualistic point of view, I can’t think like that. I am constantly bickering to myself about everything.
In the long run, will I get used to all of this? Will I make it out? I’m worried....
August 2011
7 posts
Yet: Life's Instructions →
shoulditumble:
Have a firm handshake.
Look people in the eye.
Sing in the shower.
Own a great stereo system.
If in a fight, hit first and hit hard.
Keep secrets.
Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday.
Always accept an outstretched hand.
Be brave. Even if you’re not, pretend to…
break
for a day or two. It’s gonna feel SO NICE. Haha.
Everyday
feels like another … battle I face.
Somewhere along the way of this whole ‘moving to the west’ thing, I’ve learned how to stow my emotions away for the future.
I’m just worried about my job. I really do split my brains apart daily, but it never feels like I’m doing enough. I can’t even define what is ‘enough’ right now.
“Any idiot can face a...
Is This All Worth It?
Ugh,
I’m so drained.